Do you know that we spend more time communicating with ourselves than any other person? How do you speak with yourself? Do you criticize your looks, habits, actions or behaviours? Most people do. Much of our self-talk is related to our comparisons of ourselves with others. So you might ask yourself if you are as good looking, as smart, as capable, as wise, as interesting or fun as those around you. Many people feel “less-than” what they perceive around them. Many others feel “better-than” the people around them. Both of these tendencies are a product of the “ego-mind” which is formed in childhood and grows through our life experiences.
You can imagine that with such thoughts there is also much judgement of the self and others and much frustration, grief/sadness or anxiety that can arise as well. When we are able to consciously pull away from such thinking, we can be happy with who and what we are, while also being happy with who and what others are. This leads to more cooperation among people rather than competition.
People are inter-dependent with each other. Whether personally or professionally, we need each other. When we can truly value ourselves (good and bad), we can value those around us too. This makes relationships everywhere easier and more harmonious. This also allows for healthy inter-generational families and communities too.
If you find you are in a pattern of wishing someone else was different so that you can feel more comfortable at home or at work, you are likely in the grips of ego-mind thinking. And likely, you have a good reason you are there. If you would like some help pulling out of such thinking that can hurt you (most importantly) and then others around you, do get in touch with me. I look forward to helping you.
I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 416-920-8975. Here’s to healthier self-talk and healthier relationships with friends, family and colleagues!!